If it Kills Me
by LazyEarthPony
Summary: The only thing worse than spending a lifetime in love with your former earthbending teacher (and current superior officer), is discovering you've got a thing for your former student (and current best friend.) But of course, that's a matter of perspective.


In Spring the year she turned thirty-six, Lin Beifong was dating an older man named Kain.

He was a good man, so Lin thought. He was good enough to her, anyway. She'd been seeing him for a little over seven months, and things seemed to be going well. They spent a fair amount of their free time together. She had a toothbrush at his place, and he at hers. They had their arguments, sure. Frequent ones, but... that was just what couples did.

Their most recent one had been because Lin didn't want to move in with him. Seven months was a long time for some people, but it was barely grazing the surface for Lin. She had walls, far too many of them, and although Kain had managed to tear through all the ones necessary to get into her bed, she wasn't about to share one with him permanently. Not yet.

Which had proved to be a very, very good idea.

She wasn't sure what had moved the poor man to do it. Most at the station were terrified of making her upset (a reputation she had worked very hard for), and very few ever set out to do it on purpose. Not that the young dispatch worker had really meant to upset her, but he certainly had to know it would happen when he showed up in her office, just before quitting time.

"Um... Captain?" He was nervous. Wasn't his name Dao? Bao? Lee? She really needed to learn the names of the newest hires.

"Yes?" She said, capping her pen and looking up at him, expectantly. She was supposed to meet Kain for dinner at On the Bay, a completely overrated seafood place he seemed to love. She'd rather not waste time here.

"Well..." He straightened himself, seeming to gather courage for something. "I just... I had a confession- a question, really. Um... aren't you, uh, sleeping with Sergeant Kain?"

And it wasn't really a secret anymore, but she tried not to broadcast it. It was technically fraternization. Not that her mother would really care, 'so long as the asshole doesn't hurt you'. But why in Hei Bai's name would he come all the way to her office just to ask that?

"I am." She said, evenly.

"Well..." The man swallowed, clasped his hands behind his back and gave her a look that seemed to say, 'might as well get this over with'. "So am I."

* * *

Lin showed up at Saikhan's apartment at just after midnight. She wasn't sure if he'd be home, but... she was hoping. She knocked, and when she got no answer, opened the door. "Sai?"

"Sorry, Shijian." She heard, from somewhere in his apartment. "Didn't hear you." And she could feel him coming closer to her, which she took as an invitation to come in.

She plopped on his couch, head falling back against the armrest. "Do you have any alcohol?" She called. "Maybe something strong?"

And he knew by now that when she needed alcohol, it was bad. "I do, actually. You alright?" He came into the living room, still pulling a shirt over his head.

"No." She answered, honestly, and then simply, "Kain was cheating on me."

"Oh." He said, turning sharply away from the couch and towards the liquor cabinet. "Lin, I'm... I'm sorry."

She shrugged, if anything to keep him from feeling responsible. He tended to do that. "It's... well it's not alright. It's awful. I was stupid to trust him."

"What? No, Lin that's ridiculous." And he said it incredulously, as if he honestly couldn't believe she could say she was stupid. Which she was. "You aren't stupid. You were... you were in love."

She laughed dryly, gratefully accepting the bottle of malt scotch he was handing her. "I wasn't in love," she admitted, uncapping the bottle and taking a long swig. "I don't know what that was. But it wasn't love." She'd been in love before, and while she probably could have grown to love Kain, she didn't.

"Oh." Saikhan opened the bottle of wine he'd grabbed for himself, pouring some into a glass. "Well, you had to have at least liked the guy."

"Oh, I did." She flung her legs over his lap. "I... I trusted him. That takes a lot. You know. For me."

He nodded, and she knew he did. "Well, he's an ass," He said, resting a hand on her calf. "He didn't deserve you."

Lin smiled, taking another drink. "Yeah, M'better off... without him." The combination of a warm Sai next to her, and the warm alcohol creeping into her mind was starting to make things at least seem better. She was right to come here, whether or not Saikhan was the only person she wanted to talk to.

A few minutes passed in silence, before Saikhan asked, carefully: "So... who was it? The person he was cheating on you with."

Lin shrugged. "Guy from Dispatch. Think 'is name was... Doa or something. Can't remember. Came n' told me 'imself though, tha' takes guts. Pro'lly could'a... not been so hard on 'im for that."

He just looked forward for a couple minutes, before nodding to himself. "Should have told you Kain was gay. Probably could have prevented this."

She sat up, brow furrowed. "You knew? How?"

He worried his lip between his teeth, something he'd always done when he was nervous. "I kinda... might've... slept with him once. Or a few times."

"Really?" Her eyes widened. Of all the stupid coincidences. She thought maybe she should be mad or something, but instead she just laughed, falling sideways so she was leaning against his shoulder. "So we're both idiots."

He laughed too, throwing an arm around her. "Yeah. I guess we are, Shijian."

* * *

Lin finally fell asleep on Saikhan's couch at near two in the morning, still leaning against his shoulder. He'd taken the bottle from her when he saw she'd blown through nearly two thirds of it, deciding he'd rather not be responsible for destroying his best friend's liver.

He already felt sort of responsible for getting her heart broken.

It wasn't entirely his fault, probably. He thought Kain had changed, from his days of wooing young men for just long enough to get tired of them. That had been years ago, and Lin seemed... happy. Finally happy, after so long. Sure, she'd been fine with everything else in her life, and really didn't need anyone. But he just couldn't take how lonely she looked sometimes, when she thought he didn't notice.

And he'd taken the anger he'd initially felt at Kain as just him being jealous. Kain had what he wanted, what he'd always wanted, and probably didn't deserve either. But so long as Lin was happy, and treated with all the respect an amazing woman like her deserved, he could leave it alone.

If Saikhan had been the one to find out, though, he would have broken the bastard's jaw. Without thinking about it, or regretting it.

He considered doing it now, but knew that it wasn't what Lin needed. She needed a friend, someone to remind her that trusting people wasn't wrong, and getting hurt didn't mean she was weak. He was always happy to be that friend. And always would be.

He looked down at her, asleep against him, and decided her neck would not appreciate that in the morning. So, with surprisingly little effort, he scooped her up, and carried her towards the bedroom. She also probably wouldn't appreciate the hangover in the morning, either, but at least this would take care of one pain for her.

He laid her carefully in his bed, on her side, before pulling the covers over her. Then he grabbed for the other pillow, and a spare blanket from his closet, and headed back towards the couch.

As he was drifting to sleep himself, he wondered if the Chief had any idea of what Kain had done to Lin. Maybe he should make sure she found out tomorrow. That could be fun to watch.

* * *

A/N: '_Shijian' - _In this universe, an endearment in a very old language that Saikhan hopes Lin never discovers the true meaning of. (She does).

For those who are finding this story to be a bit familiar, that's because I'm hardboiledbeifong on tumblr (hello!), and this story is inspired by/based on my rping and plotting with saikhantheloyal.

Saikhan's characterization is all hers. I just hope I'm doing him justice.

Also, Kain has to be a fantastic con artist to win the trust of miss Hardass Beifong. You'll meet him briefly.

Dispatch Man's name is Kueng.


End file.
